Amazing.
AMAZING!
The Universally Dreaded DMV. Deepest pit of sulfurous hell. The state-mandated embodiment of all things nightmarish. A huge roomful of drooling glass-eyed zombies, a few of whom probably cut me off on the way here. 100 carbon copies of Beelzebub working behind the counters, just waiting to stick a pencil in my eye.
I made an appointment for today to get my hugely expired license all nice and squared away finally. The dreaded hour of reckoning drew near. I got a good night's sleep. Woke up, took a nap.
Dread dread dread.
I got there 45 minutes early, expecting a line out the door and plenty of time to buy a hot dog or five from the cart outside.
No line, no hot dog cart.
I walked in, and the DMV was...empty.
I repeat, the DMV was empty. The SF DMV. That DMV. Maybe 20 people in the whole place. 4 people in line ahead of me. The nice (!?!?!?!?!?!?!) lady gave me a number. They called it before I could even find a place to sit and wait. Took my "eye exam", didn't have to take the written exam I thought I'd have to putter through, took what I'm sure will be a goofy-ass picture (not to be confused with a goofy ass-picture...), and was back in the real world before I even knew what had happened.
DMV. License renewal. In and out in less than 10 minutes. What kind of game is being played here? Has the whole world gone completely goat-buggeringly mad? I demand my god-given right to have my slogging preparation for inconvenience and humiliation acknowledged by the state. How dare they be intentionally efficient, leaving me with an unspoiled afternoon to enjoy the rain? That unmitigated chutzpa displayed while being friendly and helpful just burns my dimpled ass. It's, as they say, enough to make you chew your own leg off. I think I'll have to write a letter.
Proof positive that we do indeed live in interesting times. No wonder there are so many fucking idiots on the road.
Posted by eric at March 23, 2005 11:36 PMFound this through John Leblanc's website.
Very, very funny and true. I had a similar experience - was dreading the DMV fiasco... but was floored by how easy it was. Are we talking about the DMV on Fell x Divisadero (close enough!)? I was renewing my way-passed expired license as well. Wasn't expecting to have to take a new photo. My elation at how easy and brisk the procedure was is obvious in my now hysterical new license picture. Good shit.